Ages Ago
by kmsutton92
Summary: There it is, the picture of us.  Me and him, ages ago, when he was mine.  He loved me then, he held me then.  A HarryGinny oneshot, set to Teardrops on my Guitar by Taylor Swift.


_Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see  
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be  
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about  
And she's got everything that I have to live without_

He was mine, once. He loved me once. Ages ago, it seems, I was the one in his arms. I had waited so long for him, and when he finally recognized my feelings, I was ecstatic. But that was ages ago. Now, as he walks toward me, I have to fake a smile. As he hugs me in a friendly way, I wish it didn't hurt so much. He starts talking about her again, and I sigh to myself. This girl he's talking about, how do I compete with her? The way he speaks of her… she must be perfect.

She must be gorgeous, maybe with dark hair and dark eyes. Maybe she's exotic and voluptuous, everything I'm not. Maybe she's fair, with blonde hair and soft blue eyes. Maybe she's small, thin, but still beautiful, and everything I'm not. Maybe she looks like an angel, heavenly and sweet. Maybe she looks like a vixen sent by the devil, his own personal demon. Again, it's nothing I can compete with.

I'm mediocre to the last degree. The only interesting thing about me is my hair, and he doesn't like it as much as he used to. I remember how he used to play with it, twirl it around his fingers while I was talking, or while we were kissing. He loved my hair, he loved me. Oh how I wish he still did. I really wish he still did.

"Ginny, are you listening?"

I look up, offering another fake smile. "Of course I am." I reply. But I wasn't. I don't know anything he was saying. Not as if it matters. He was talking about her. I can see that in his eyes. The look in his eyes is the one he used to give me, ages ago, when he loved me and not her. It's the same look he had when I was his future, not her. It's the look that I miss, and the one that makes me hurt now.

"So you'll come then?"

I blink, and I nod. "Of course." I reply, wondering what I just agreed to go to. Then he says it again. He can't wait for everyone to meet her. She's amazing, he says. You'll really like her Ginny, he says. I fake smile and nod. "I'm sure I will." I agree, though I know it's a lie. I can never like this girl, whoever she is. It's not possible. I know he can't possibly be happy. Not like he was with me. I just wish I could show him that.

_Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny  
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me  
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,  
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night_

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

The rest of the afternoon goes by, and I laugh. He makes me laugh. He's such a good person, better now that it's all over and he's free to be himself without having to worry about the threat of a dark wizard. I remember how in the beginning, after the war, he would have nightmares. He needed me to hold him, to remind him that everything was okay. He needed me to tell him that it was over, that I was alive. He needed me to remind him that I loved him. And he loved me too. He told me so. I still don't understand how he can go from loving me one minute to thinking we'll be better off as friends.

Okay, so maybe it didn't go by that quickly, but you know what I mean. One day he loved me, and then a few days later, he was ending it, because he had met someone else. How could he have fallen for that girl so quickly, when it took him years to fall for me? It doesn't make sense, and even though he says he's happy with her, and has been with her for five years, he can't possibly be happy with her. I loved him more. I cared more. And he loved me too, once. He was mine, once.

Our afternoon ends and he kisses me on the cheek, and suddenly I want to cry. I wait until he's gone and I'm home, and that night I see a star falling, and I wish that he still loved me. I wish that I could go back in time, to when he loved me, and stay there. I can't break them up. I don't want to hurt them that way. I still don't think he could possibly be happy, but I can't actively break them up. That would be wrong.

_Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?  
And there he goes, so perfectly,  
The kind of flawless I wish I could be  
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love  
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause_

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

"I'm glad you made it Gin, you look… amazing."

He leans over and kisses me on the cheek, and I smile slightly. I can barely breathe though, with him so close to me. He looks great. The dinner is a formal one, according to Ron. He's introducing her to everyone. Ron says that Harry thinks it's serious. He says that Harry loves her, and she loves him, and I wonder if it ever occurred to him while he was speaking that maybe I was not the best person to be telling these things too, because I love him too. Just as much, if not more.

He looks so wonderful, flawless even. I remember the skinny boy who didn't know how to get onto the platform, the one who held me tight as Fawkes the Phoenix flew us out of the Chamber of Secrets. He's my own personal hero. A knight in shining armor who found a new princess, and left his old one by herself and missing her brave knight.

I got all dressed up for this. I even put on a dress. It's sleek and simple, a dark emerald green that goes wonderfully with my hair. He has walked away now, and is standing by a pretty girl with black hair and soft blue eyes. His hand is on the small of her back, and as he looks at her, I recognize the look in his eyes. This is the girl. She's pretty, yes, but not as pretty as I had expected her to be. I was picturing someone gorgeous.

She's looking at him with the same love and affection that he looks at her with. I feel tears welling up in my eyes, realizing that I was wrong. They do love each other, and he is happy with her. I can't break that up. He looks around, and his eyes meet mine, and the happiness in them fades slightly. He whispers something in her ear and she nods, looking at me as well. I know I need to get out of there, and soon.

But he reaches me before I can, and he takes my hand and leads me away from the crowd. I say nothing, and do nothing. There's no point in masking my emotions. What does it matter? He loves her, and I won't ruin that for him. I want him to be happy, after all.

"You're hurting."

I nod.

"Ginny… I…"

I bite my lip. "It's okay, Harry. I'm okay." I watch him as he shakes his head.

"You're not. I know you better than that Ginny."

I sigh softly. Of course he does. He knows me too well. Just like I know him.

"Gin… I want you to know that what you and I had… it was real, and it was wonderful. I don't want you to think I didn't love you, because I did. I loved you with everything I had, will all my heart. But Jessica… there's something about Jessica that… I can't even explain it, Ginny, but as happy as I was with you, I knew the minute I saw her…"

I press my finger to his lips. "Stop." I whisper. I'm starting to cry now. "Just stop."

And he pulls me into his arms, and he kisses my forehead, and for a moment, I feel like I'm back where I belong. Then he pulls away, and he looks down at me.

"You're one of my best friends, Gin, and I love you. But Jessica…"

I'm crying still, and I shake my head. "Go, Harry. Go be with her. I'll be okay, I promise. I think I'll go home and lie down." I sniffle slightly, wiping my eyes. So much for the make-up. He leans down and kisses my forehead again, and then very briefly on the lips. He offers me a sad smile and turns away, back to Jessica, and I turn away as well, toward the door. I can't meet her right now. Not like this.

_So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light  
I'll put his picture down and maybe  
Get some sleep tonight_

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart  
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do  
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough  
And he's all that I need to fall into..

So I go home alone that night, tears blurring in my eyes as I sit alone in the cab. A tear falls onto my pretty green dress and stains the fabric darker, and I think of him even though I doubt he's thinking about me. The cab stops and I pay the man, walking toward my flat. The doorman opens the door for me with his usual 'Miss Weasley', and waits until I'm inside to close it. I brush at my tears, knowing I won't be the only one in the lobby. It isn't too late, after all.

Sure enough, there are other people in the lobby and I smile and wave at them before stepping into the elevator, leaning against the wall. I know I shouldn't be crying. It's not like he was ever really mine anyway. I was always like a little sister to him, or a friend. Maybe once, I was a girlfriend, but that was a long time ago, before her. Still, it didn't stop me from loving him.

I unlock the door with the key, knowing that the cameras could see me with my wand and it could cause a problem. I step into my flat, looking around. My purse is set down, my shoes come off, and my hair is let out of its' sophisticated knot. I can't believe I got dressed up for him, put make-up on for him. It's not like he even noticed it. Not the way I wanted him to, at least. Story of my life, right?

I slip into my bedroom, using my wand to unzip the dress. The dress slides off, and I kick it aside. Stupid bloody thing. I hate it. I pull on a shirt from my dresser, not realizing that it's one of his from long ago when he was mine until it's too late. It's still too long on me, and I curl into it as I lie down and rest under the covers. My heart is aching.

I look over at the end table. There it is, the picture of us. Me and him, ages ago, when he was mine. He loved me then, he held me then. I reach up and turn it facedown. I might be hurting, but he's happy with her. I know he is, now that I see her with him. It was a foolish hope before. I need to move on, even if he is the one who can hurt me the most, who can tear out my heart and not even realize he's doing it. Tonight, I'll cry for him, and for me, and for what we used to be.

Tonight, I'll get some sleep.

_Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see._


End file.
